Wednesday, November 30, 2011

I could not afford to get sick


These few weeks I really am too occupied with many never ending assignments and portfolios... to the extend I didn't even realize today is a public holiday!!! How sad! My ignorance costs me the unnecessary scold from Mr. Sanjeh.

Consecutively 3 days and 3 nights stay up at computer labs has really caused so much damage to me. I woke up on Saturday morning feeling so dizzy !! I couldn't even stand up or sit up still, But I forced myself to freshen up, walking like a drunken zombie to the wash room. As soon as taken my liquid breakfast, I tried very hard to focus in front of the computer in order to complete the long overdue Building Science 1 assignments...

But my head was spinning, so heavy that I couldn't even lift it up, I saw the room and everything around me spinning, feeling extremely uneasy and wanted to just lay down on the bed (physiologically that's what I desperately need), and suddenly I felt I wanted to vomit, and without much ado I did vomit out all my liquid breakfast! After the 2nd time vomit I felt slightly relief that I could force myself drown in BScience.

The whole day I wasn't feeling well, I could feel the dizziness all the time, even though I was sitting most of the time. I didn't take any medicine for I know "it" was something I could not afford (good rest and deep sleep) I striven the day as usual, ignored the dizziness that was trying to bug me from time to time...and the day passed.

Sunday morning was totally different. I felt good, much normal then the day before! That's amazing. I was feeling so sick the day before, and I didn't take any medicine since then, yet I am feeling normal again the next day! Where has the sickness gone...? Guess "it" was frightened away by my desperation.  I could not afford to get sick, I am not allowed to get sick, I am guilty of taking rest or sleep.

Having been built as a human, lack of sleep has somehow jeopardize me.  On Wednesday 30 November 2011 after BCon2 exam,  on my way back to the hostel, I absent minded threw the 'finished' corrector into litter bin, I forgotten that the writing corrector is attached with it's reusable casing, and only found out I still need the casing after backed room when I tried to replace the new one for tomorrow's exam... I rushed down to the litter bin and dug it out from the rubbish bin in front of public !!!





Friday, November 11, 2011

终究是梦?






妈妈终于叫我别再继续折磨自己了。

当然我也很清楚就算自己继续待下去,往后的日子也不会有什麽大成就,因为时间有限,体力也再不允许。

既然明知没什么特别的惊喜可期待,我又何必继续执著,自讨苦吃?

好久没有快乐的感觉,好想念轻松开怀的时光,好怀念过去逍遥自在的日子,好想念朋友们,好想念家人, 好想念周末看电影的感觉,好想念跟朋友喝下午茶的感觉,好想念看星星的夜晚,好想念看海的日子,好想念迎着风骑脚车的感觉,好想念家,我亲爱的书,小花,小草,树木,小鸟们,多芬,你们都好吗?对不起,不得已把你们留下,我有千千万万个舍不得。

妈说的对, 消耗这么多精力和时间,最后过的日子也不过如此。别再折磨自己了,人生短暂,生命有限,回家吧...

有多少的不舍,千千万万个不愿,我的梦,终究是梦?



Wednesday, November 2, 2011

大牌高人







不过是因为我的tutor没来,
下个星期一又是公共假日,
而下星期三就是2nd interim assessment了,
感觉很彷徨,我的design是彻底改变,
但Ms V 却说我改的太过火了,
劝我再改回简单些,
虽然并还没真的像tutor要的那么乱,
但Ms V却说已经很乱了...

其实我是真的想要做的像shipwreck那么的乱,
但现在却把自己的心情搞乱的像shipwreck...

很是担心,
所以硬着头皮跑去请教那位最大牌的,
没想到他还是冷冷的拒人千里,
说什么拿太多意见只会让学生更迷惑...

难道不就是因为我们有疑惑才需要高人指点吗?
教书的干吗耍大牌嘛,
没有学生,教书的算什么?

人家安藤 忠雄是无师自通的,
成就比一般著名大学毕业的还出位,
或许我应该效仿这样的高人,
教书的你要继续大牌,去吧!