我要活下去

有时还真是服了自己。

尽然跑来这里活受罪。

上什么烂鬼课。

读什么鬼课程。

听什么烂鬼道理:

‘学生是应该启发教师的！’

‘我们只告诉你们那里错，但不会教你们怎么做，方法你们自己找！’

在上要受洗衣粉和不软的气，

在下又有大小姐们的脸色看。

我都这把年纪了，还能撑多久？

老天爷，请留我一条生路吧。

are we just unfortunate ?

difference tutor, different style

So strange, same school, same academic year, same academic system, yet different style of education approach is conducted by different tutor.

The moment I was told that Ar Karlson is to be in charge of the afternoon session, I was seriously thinking to shift myself to the afternoon session. I have also many times discussed about this matter with CF. However as I have no one to swap with, thus I am still stuck with the morning session, with the two weird tutors.

This morning session was really setting a big benchmark. As we were late to pin up our analysis diagram, we were graded "late submission" and deterred from verbal presentation. I guess it was my mistake to allow KL to take away the analysis diagrams from me?

my fatal mistake

Early this morning when we were about to leave the 24 hours study room, I remember KL requested to bring back all the analysis diagrams; she wanted to scan them and save to a CD for submission, she added that it is better to submit CD during studio session as it has always been very difficult to trace Mr. Kid outside studio session! At that moment I did not think she was "asking" my permission to take the diagrams, in fact her request sounded more like an "order"! She was asking me to hand over all analysis diagram to her. I was not thinking much (could not afford to think because it was already too "late" and I am too tired to think of any consequences---my fatal mistake).

The cutting off time was 9.15am! Although we managed to pin up all A3 drawings before 9.15am, but we were short of our analysis diagram. Someone remarked I should have known KL is well known of being late to studio, especially this morning.

Sign. Studio life has not been very easy ever since early last week, when we were struggled to proceed with "pop up" analysis diagram and abstraction of our building model. There were countless discussion within our group, especially between KL and me with regards to idea manifestation. We have carried out countless attempts, tried out with different materials, still it seemed that all our discussion were in vain.

talk too much, no action

Along the way, somehow I could sense somewhere was very wrong with KL and JY. Apart from showing poor draftsmanship, they seemed to disregard many of my idea and comments. KL was very obsess with her own way, very indecisive and tend to drag things. JY appeared herself very 'uninvolved'. However in order to maintain good harmony within the group, I did my best to 'disregard' the situation. I think subconsciously I was giving in to these two big heads. Could it be my mistake to be overly liberal?

For reassurance, I did mentioned to CF about JY's poor attitude for a couple of times. I told him my opinion about JY's 'laid back' attitude, her 'talk so much, no action' attitude was really not helping at all in contributing to our work progress. Not to mention her poor draftsmanship, workmanship and craftsmanship. If I am not mistaken she had mentioned to do axonomatric for The Beachclub at the early stage of the project.

KL's self-obsess was getting worst. She had come to point totally ignored any of my input, and went on her own way, but with zero physical output. Our situation was really bad.

indecisive is fatal

Three days to final submission. I was shocked to see KL was still drawing little sketches (although those are not really sketches in accordance to Fabian's standard) with JY looking and talking as usual. Still I have shown no comment of the situation (seems that I am always very liberal and trusted them to be reliable). However the situation changed when JY in return, question my progress on the analysis diagram presentation. She told me to show them our progress before dinner break! I was not sure since when I was supposed to report to her my progress, when me as the group leader had never question her poor performance with the model. Although emotionally provoked, I tried my best to answer her in calm manner and told them not to worry about my part, instead I told her I have been very worry about their performance. My remarked was that they have no sense of crisis, and told them to stop changing idea and take immediate action straight away.

With that, our works were officially carried out in two group. CF and I was doing the analysis diagram and KL and JY were doing the model.

They have again disregard my earlier idea of making model and proceed with their own idea. They have another new idea again - a rather abstract idea: 6 square boxes pilled up to form the building mass. I was speechless and exhausted, knowing them to be obsessive with their own way, I just requested to cut down boxes to half. So our final model would be a building mass made of 3 rectangular boxes!

Would not it be too simple? CF was not happy with the new idea of our model. I told him I am helpless, I told him KL's attitude with regards to my in put. I told him that KL had been ignoring my idea and always disregard my comment or in put.

Razan's comment

Razan's comment provoked me to rethink seriously about the model "I don't think the model looks creative at all, although according to Fabian our earlier single sheet of folding model is not a creative one, but this is worst!". I acknowledged her idea and stared to asked for CF's help. I asked him to help me building another model as back up model after we have finished our analysis diagram. Thank God he agreed.

I wondered what have these two girls been doing until the very last minute there were still nothing solid manifested from their hands. I think the old saying 求人不如求己 is best applied here now. I did some reading on building analysis the next day morning. Thank God, when I started to sketch our 3D building, an idea struck in my mind. I think I have found a way to present the fundamental elements of our building design.

I brought the sketch to our studio and shown it to CF. He was delighted with the sketch and asked me to show it to KL so that they can proceed with it. I reassured him I would definitely show the new idea to KL, but was not expecting high of their acceptance. But we would proceed to do it ourself in case they disagree to accept our idea.

However, to my surprise, KL eventually accepted my idea. Thank God.

What a challenging studio life, as a group leader, you have to deal with the big heads within the group, and at the same time working hard to inspire the tutors...

difference student, different luck

As penalty to our poor punctuality, only 3 groups were allowed to perform verbal presentation. Of course we were out of the list! That means we could only know 3 types of building design other then our own Beachclub. I told CF I wanted to attend the afternoon session in order to learn more building analysis examples, and to know how the afternoon session is.

It was already 3.00pm yet everyone was still busy doing their hand works. Two tutors were sitting in front, patiently waiting I presumed. Ar Karlson is the one I saw in facebook. This Ar Eric is another one, different from the one we saw last semester.

Contrasting to the morning session, the atmosphere in the afternoon studio session was calm and peaceful. I did not even notice that they have started their crit. Therefore I missed the first group, what a waste.

I quietly approached to the second group where Ar Karlson and Ar Eric were sitting listening to their verbal presentation. It was my first time listening to a clear explanation on "vernacular architecture", a remark by Ar Eric. I was impressed with his 'sensitivity' towards students' terminology application during verbal presentation.

Although Ar Karlson and Ar Eric were both very patient, I somehow prefer Ar Eric's way. I am impressed with his patience and passion in explaining details of relevant elements with regards to the particular building, and he always conclude a presentation with some remarks that help student to understand their performance.